I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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