i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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