at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I just googled if crying burns calories
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize