I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
