Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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