Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize