Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
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