i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Randomize
