the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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