Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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