im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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