Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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