I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
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Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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