it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
