drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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