She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize