My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
