am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
23 People Have Step Parents That Are Younger Than Them
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.