you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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