i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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