Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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