When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
