I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Just invented taco cereal.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
