If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
