I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
