What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
