Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
