My liver just broke up with me...
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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