If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I want her autograph on my taint
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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