Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
