so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
