I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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