i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
how do flat chested girls get laid?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
