I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
