He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
