I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
nutella sex= disaster
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
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