she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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