hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
You ate ashes out of my bong
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize