we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
