Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
We need a shit load of segways right now
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
