i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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