It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize