And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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