thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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