soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
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