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It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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