shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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