How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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