You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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