We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
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Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
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My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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