I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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