Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
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whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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