I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
