youre lurking in front of me
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
