so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize