omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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