1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize