Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
