this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
